Future Husband

I've felt like I've needed to write out my thoughts about you for whatever reason, and I'm finally deciding to stop putting it off and just write. It's currently 11:44 pm on January 4th, 2016. I am a freshman in college, and I am just now starting to feel a little less confused about my future. Sadly, I have no idea who you are yet. I have no idea if I already know who you are, or if I'm going to meet you this year, or at some point in the future. But I'm so excited for the day when you enter into my life and from that point on we get to live the lives that God has planned for us together. I can't wait to start spending time with you, and for you to learn all of my little quirks, like how I will randomly start talking in an accent for no reason, or how I casually say "lol" in conversation, or throw up the peace sign whenever I come into contact with a familiar face, or how its difficult for me to sleep without a stuffed animal. My favorite things, like coffee with a little cream and two sugars, going on hikes and spending time in nature, where I feel closest to our Creator, listening to and finding weird music, taking hipster looking pictures, the idea of traveling. You'll see that I'm a sucker for romance, and even the smallest of gestures will get my face to turn bright red and make my heart skip a beat. You'll see that I love reading, and will spend an entire day curled up in my bed, completely lost in a book. And you will quickly realize that my ultimate favorite thing, is my savior Jesus Christ, and worshiping Him. And I can't wait for the day when we get to start worshipping Him together. But with all of these humorous and positive things, after the beginning phase of our relationship you will see that I am filled to the brim with flaws. Like how I am in constant struggle with jealousy and comparison, or how I'm learning how to have boundaries and learn how to say no, but I still hate disappointing people. I am a people pleaser, and I will go out of my way in whatever way possible to make those around me happy. Or how because of past relationships and being told I'm not good enough, it will take a million times of saying "i love you" and "you're beautiful" for me to start to believe them (my love language is words of affirmation by the way). And those are just the beginning. But maybe that's why you aren't in my life yet, so that I can grow in these things and be the best wife I can possibly be. And the cool thing is, I know that in the midst of all the junk that's in my life, that I'm struggling with, you are going to love me anyway. You will love me unconditionally despite all of my flaws and sin. And I am going to love you unconditionally despite all of the junk in your life. And that thought brings so much joy and peace to my mind. That one day I will get to be in relationship with you, a relationship created by God that is a representation of the Gospel and how He loves us, so much that He would send His Son to die for us. And I know that in our relationship you are going to lead me and bring me closer to Christ, and I am so excited for us to grow in relationship with God and one another. The thought of learning every little thing about you, what makes you tick, what makes you happy, sad, what you love, what you hate, where you see God, your vision for ministry and our life together. I can't wait to soak in every little detail about you, and to love every part of you wholeheartedly. I can't wait to see the process unfold before my eyes. A friendship, and a relationship, and courting, and an engagement, and eventually a marriage. And I can't wait to see God at work through every stage of the relationship. God's timing is perfect, and I know that He is going to bring you in my life at the perfect time, because He knows what is best for both of us. And I just want you to know that I am praying for you, and I am for you, and I hope that you are growing in relationship with God and preparing for this future relationship every single day. I am going to do everything I can to become the right person, so that I am ready when God places you in my life. I know that you are going to take my breathe away, and make me laugh uncontrollably until I cry (and possibly pee my pants), and I won't be able to help but smile every time I think about you. I don't even know who you are and the thought of you makes me smile.. I can't imagine what it's going to be like when you're in my life! I am so excited to be your wife, to live life with you, to build God's kingdom with you and tell others about the greatest news they could ever hear! Until I know you, and throughout our relationship together, I will be thinking about you and praying for you. I am so excited for a forever and always story with you (there's the romance thing I was talking about). And I hope that I remember that I posted this so that I can show it to you, and we can laugh together at my freshman in college self, who had know idea the amazing things that God is going to do in her life, and the incredible, Godly man that He is going to give her to spend the rest of her life with.